Your Girl Is Back!

Heyyy ya'll!!! I know it's been a while but I'm back and coming back strong. Since the new upcoming year is arriving I've decided to tell myself to get up and come back and start writing more blogs. Although I only have 2, I wanna make a resolution to make more for myself and you guys. I've got a lot of stuff on my chest I just wanna spill out. I currently have 5 journals full of nonsense ideas and on how I feel. So, why not share with you?

Anywho, quick life Update:

I'm now a freshman in college and let me tell you it's brutal and it is NOT what it looks like on shows and Tv's. I really thought I was gonna be going out to parties, maybe even having a boo and just enjoying it. But my whole scenario was totally wrong!! I did not do any of those things. The most I did was stress, sleep, and lots of walking. But, I guess one of the good outcomes was meeting new people and as well reuniting with the old ones. I'm now friends with people from different backgrounds and I'm learning more of it and being more self-aware about it. However, for my classes they were mediocre although from the fact I cried for each one of them because this wasn't what I expecting. I had taken a Speech and I truly didn't like the fact of getting in front of the class and speaking to them. For instance, every time I got up there my heart sank and just started beating so fast. I try to calm myself down by taking deep breaths and drinking water and it just never worked. It got to the point where every time I had a big presentation coming up I discouraged myself, and told myself I wasn't going to succeed and the manifestation worked. It's either I blew it or I just stopped trying. Yet, I've realized with myself I tend to do that a lot which is bringing myself down and only thinking negatively. Being positive towards myself is my "kryptonite" and I'm all for self-love for everyone but me. I sometimes don't see the reasoning of being of one's' self love. But I wanna try at least. I've decided to delete all Social Medias that really took a toll on me (TikTok & Instagram). I was so focused on getting likes and seeing what others think of my outfit, face and such. I forgot how their- well anyone's opinion shouldn't matter and I should be posting for me. I need to love me, see me, and be me. So I'm taking this opportunity of this long break to focus on myself. I've told myself to read at least 3 new books(←I've read 2 and half), delete any social media that I use the most(←did itt, on my 14th day!), reunite with old friends(←did half), talk to more relatives(←starting slowly), continue journaling(←I do it once in a while,3-4 times a week!) and focus on my well-being(←trying :')). If you are feeling this way I advise you do the same thing I'm doing or find another technique that will help you. You should always be your top priority. But, don't be too selfish and try to let others in to help you. You can't do this alone :)! That said, like I’ve already stated I’m coming back and hopefully I can post more often. Maybe 2 posts a month? Who knows :D??

Well, till next time my little stars**